The Batmans.

For all of my wacky, morning DJ-ready news, I've always preferred Obscure Store over Fark. While the former only offers a fraction of the daily updates, the stories are generally funnier, nobody tries (and ultimately fails) to get cute with the headlines, and there is no political bickering. The same stories often get posted on both sites, but every once in a while Obscure Store will come through with a great story that's new to me. Case in point: Offbeat Name? Then Facebook's No Friend

While I couldn't possibly care less about some nerdario's neverending quest to sign on to Facebook (first world problems), I am very interested in awesome last names like Batman, Yoda, Christmas, Beer, etc. Where do these people come from and how can I sucker them into adopting me? Why I am stuck with such a stupid, non-hilarious, ethnic last name? And if you've been blessed with the last name of Batman, why in the fuck would you give that up once you got married? And for Shaw. You were a Batman, and now you're a fucking Shaw. It's 2009; it's totally acceptable these days not to take your husband's name, especially when his sounds like a tool and yours is shared with Gotham's premier billionaire crimefighter.

Even better is Bess Pancake, who I am determined to marry, sight unseen. I will then take her name, shattering gender roles and hopefully filling my stomach endless flapjacks in the process.