Shitty breakfast showdown.

I have an embarrassing confession to make: I went nearly six years without ever having so much as a bite of a McDonald's McGriddle. And why is this embarrassing? Because A) I am a huge fan of shitty, gimmicky fast food and B) I am even bigger fan of breakfast sandwiches (if you can rightfully call a slab of meat in between two mutant pancakes a "sandwich").

So a few weeks ago, Dunkin' Donuts introduced a similar breakfast sandwich, only they replaced the syrupy, laboratory fresh pancakes with significantly less frightening waffles and ingeniously dubbed their invention the "waffle breakfast sandwich."

As interesting as this offering looked, and as much as I love waffles and breakfast meats, it wasn't until I received a coupon for a free waffle sandwich that I decided to give a shot.

Taking a break from my usual sausage, egg and cheese combination; I ended up with the bacon, egg and cheese variety. The waffles were a little smaller than I expected, but they were good. I don't think that the waffles themselves are flavored like the pancakes that make up the McGriddle, but there was a distinct mapley flavor that I think came from the excellent (for a donut and breakfast food chain) bacon. Rounding out the sandwich (I'm not including the cheese) was the egg which is served in an unnatural patty formation, much like most other breakfast sandwiches. But unlike the egg patties I've gotten from McDonald's or Wawa, this one wasn't as spongy and it didn't squirt egg juice all over my shirt. As a whole, the sandwich was pretty fucking good.

For comparison's sake, I ordered a sausage, egg, and cheese McGriddle the next morning. Like I said, I've avoided these things since their inception, despite hearing relatively good things from fellow fans of shitty fast food. Before I even made it back to the office, I was impressed by the overwhelming sweet smell of the pancakes. I wondered if the smell would embed itself into my car's upholstery and then whether or not that was such a bad thing. Do babes dig the smell of maple syrup?

As for the sandwich itself, I thought it was kind of gross. The pancakes are a mushy, syrupy mess and they're almost too sweet for me to handle (which is saying a lot considering my favorite donut is double glazed and injected with vanilla creme so dense with sugar that you could chew it). While the sausage isn't bad, McDonald's take on the egg cake is bland and has the consistency of a stress relief ball. While I ultimately walked away from my McGriddle experience wholly disappointed, I still ate one, something that I can't help but consider a small triumph in some strange way.

Final verdict:
Dunkin' Donuts Waffle Breakfast Sandwich with bacon, egg, and cheese: B
McDonald's McGriddle Sandwich with sausage, egg, and cheese: C-