Jul
17
I’m not entirely sure why I continue to read Digg on a daily basis. It’s an awful website populated by even more awful people. Furthermore, I couldn’t give two shits about Apple, the Nintendo Wii, Ron Paul, or top ten lists, and its World news is often days to weeks late. The only thing that it’s really got going for it is the fact that it’s updated throughout the day, constantly giving me new material to hate. Such is the case with a steaming pile of shit that was posted last week and quickly shot up Digg’s top ten; a list of the “most embarrassing things” about America, written by “ThePoorestTourist.”
Now, I’m no Toby Keith, but I feel fairly lucky to have spent the last thirty years here in the United States. My knowldge of its history hovers somewhere around elementary, but I’m on top of all of the really important shit, like where to score some good BBQ.
Jun
28
A New Low Point In My Life
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I very seriously contemplated jerking off to Women Of Ninja Warrior. Ultimately, it was the thought of cleaning up that did me in.
I blame Rie Komiya.
Jun
6
Four Home Upgrades For A Slow Housing Market
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A few years ago, I gave up on all of my hopes and dreams and bought a house in the suburbs. Sure, people like your Grandmother will tell you that it’s an “investment,” but all of that bullshit about interest and “sweat equity” hardly seems worth paying for with your freedom and ultimately your soul. Plus you usually have to mow a lawn, which is the weakest shit ever. I’d pave my entire Goddamned yard if I didn’t have to worry about crippling the resale value.
May
29
Review Of Entertainment Weekly’s Summer Movie Preview, Part Two: July And August
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July
X-Files: I Want To Believe
May
23
This Week In Search Engine Terms
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Here are some of the more notable search engine terms that lead people to Waxeater this week:
May
19
Review Of Entertainment Weekly’s Summer Movie Preview, Part One: May And June
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With the exception of a very select few, I absolutely cannot stand listening to anyone talk about movies. That goes double for the “mainstream media.” Example: When I was stuck in the Dallas-Ft. Worth airport for six hours (after my initial flight was cancelled and rescheduled for the following day,) I was so bored and desperate for visual and/or mental stimulation that I picked up a copy of the USA Today that had been strewn about the seat next to me. The only reason I even bothered to pick it up was because I had already finished the book I purchased in the airport bookstore and I had already read the candy wrapper next to the newspaper four times already.
May
16
How do you end a story about working as a janitor? Clearly I do not know.
Janitorial Pissings, Part Two
May
13
Janitorial Pissings, Part One
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This is an updated version of something I started writing probably over a year ago, but I made the mistake of sending it to my ex-girlfriend who summarily tore it to shreds and told me it stunk. But with the recent stories involving my early, teenage employment, I figured it was a good time to revisit the story of one of the best, most entertaining jobs I ever had - that of an office janitor.
I’m writing and publishing it in multiple parts because a) both my readers and I share an embarassingly short attention span and b) I can drag more updates out of it this way. So here’s part one.
Janitorial Pissings, Part One
May
12
Okay, Who’s The Wise Guy?
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Search Engine Terms
These are terms people used to find your blog.
Today
Search Views
reverend is a stupid fuck waxeater 1
May
12
Ruined, Part Three
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Ruined: A Look Back At Thirty Years Of The Enjoyable Made Intolerable
Part Three: Slim Jims/beef jerky.
Growing up in a single parent household can be difficult, especially when that single parent is a professional stripper. The problem is that the standard 9-to-5 shift on the pole isn’t an especially lucrative one, so anyone that hopes to support a family by taking their clothes off ends up spending most of their evenings and weekends in, er, the office.